Friend Me SERIES – Building Healthy Relationships

1 Samuel 14:13-15 MSG

13   Jonathan shouted to his armor bearer, “Up! Follow me! God has turned them over to Israel!” Jonathan scrambled up on all fours, his armor bearer right on his heels. When the Philistines came running up to them, he knocked them flat, his armor bearer right behind finishing them off, bashing their heads in with stones.

14   In this first bloody encounter, Jonathan and his armor bearer killed about twenty men.

15   That set off a terrific upheaval in both camp and field, the soldiers in the garrison and the raiding squad badly shaken up, the ground itself shuddering—panic like you’ve never seen before!


1 Samuel 18:1-4 MSG

11   By the time David had finished reporting to Saul, Jonathan was deeply impressed with David—an immediate bond was forged between them. He became totally committed to David. From that point on he would be David’s number-one advocate and friend.

2     Saul received David into his own household that day, no more to return to the home of his father.

3     Jonathan, out of his deep love for David, made a covenant with him.

4     He formalized it with solemn gifts: his own royal robe and weapons—armor, sword, bow, and belt.


  1. The DEFINITION of Friendship


Proverbs 12:26 NKJV – The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.


False friends:

  1. IF friends
  2. WHEN friends
  3. UNTIL friends
  4. BECAUSE of friends


A true friend is an IN SPITE of friend.


  1. The DEGREES of Friendship


1 Samuel 20:28-33 MSG28 Jonathan said, “David asked my special permission to go to Bethlehem. 29 He said, ‘Give me leave to attend a family reunion back home. My brothers have ordered me to be there. If it seems all right to you, let me go and see my brothers.’ That’s why he’s not here at the king’s table.” 30 Saul exploded in anger at Jonathan: “You son of a slut! Don’t you think I know that you’re in cahoots with the son of Jesse, disgracing both you and your mother? 31 For as long as the son of Jesse is walking around free on this earth, your future in this kingdom is at risk. Now go get him. Bring him here. From this moment, he’s as good as dead!” 32 Jonathan stood up to his father. “Why dead? What’s he done?” 33 Saul threw his spear at him to kill him. That convinced Jonathan that his father was fixated on killing David.


Levels of friendship:

  2. CLOSE


Proverbs 18:24 TLB – There are “friends” who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.


III.         The DEMANDS of Friendship



1 Samuel 19:1-3 MSG1 Saul called his son Jonathan together with his servants and ordered them to kill David. But because Jonathan treasured David, 2 he went and warned him: “My father is looking for a way to kill you. Here’s what you are to do. Tomorrow morning, hide and stay hidden. 3 I’ll go out with my father into the field where you are hiding. I’ll talk about you with my father and we’ll see what he says. Then I’ll report back to you.”



1 Samuel 20:41 MSG – After the servant was gone, David got up from his hiding place beside the boulder, then fell on his face to the ground—three times prostrating himself! And then they kissed one another and wept, friend over friend, David weeping especially hard.



1 Samuel 23:14-18 MSG14 David continued to live in desert hideouts and the backcountry wilderness hills of Ziph. Saul was out looking for him day after day, but God never turned David over to him. 15 David kept out of the way in the wilderness of Ziph, secluded at Horesh, since it was plain that Saul was determined to hunt him down. 16 Jonathan, Saul’s son, visited David at Horesh and encouraged him in God. 17 He said, “Don’t despair. My father, Saul, can’t lay a hand on you. You will be Israel’s king and I’ll be right at your side to help. And my father knows it.” 18 Then the two of them made a covenant before God. David stayed at Horesh and Jonathan went home.


Relationships are DISCOVERED and NOT CREATED.

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