Good Grief!


SERIES: Take off Those R.A.G.S.


Matthew 17:22-23 NLT

22 After they gathered again in Galilee, Jesus told them, “The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of his enemies.

23 He will be killed, but on the third day he will be raised from the dead.” And the disciples were filled with grief.


John 20:1-9 NLT

1 Early on Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.

2 She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, “They have taken the Lord’s body out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

3 Peter and the other disciple started out for the tomb.

4 They were both running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first.

5 He stooped and looked in and saw the linen wrappings lying there, but he didn’t go in.

6 Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there,

7 while the cloth that had covered Jesus’ head was folded up and lying apart from the other wrappings.

8 Then the disciple who had reached the tomb first also went in, and he saw and believed—

9 for until then they still hadn’t understood the Scriptures that said Jesus must rise from the dead.


2 Corinthians 4:7-9 NRSV – 7 But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;


Grief is the emotional sorry we feel because of the LOSS of someone or something we have strong emotional ATTACHMENT to.


1 Peter 4:12 NLT – Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you.


Matthew 5:4 – God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.


I.      Bad Grief

A.    CHRONIC grief – unresolved grief do to a lack of CLOSURE  or ACCEPTANCE of a loss.


B.      REPRESSED grief – a deep personal loss that you have every REASON to grieve but DO NOT!


C.    DELAYED grief – grief that is POSTPONED until a later time but is triggered by an UNRELATED or TRIVIAL event.


Childhood                           Youth                                 Adult


In each of these three life stages list:

a.        All your great LOSSES

b.        Where you able to express great SORROW or did you just MOVE on.


II.    The Grief Process:

A.    The CRISIS stage – this is not HAPPENING.

B.      The COLLAPSE stage – I will not get OVER this.


This stage can last from TWO years until DEATH.


2 Samuel 13:10-20 NLT – 10 Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. 11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.” 12 “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. 13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.” 14 But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. 15 Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her. 16 “No, no!” Tamar cried. “Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. 17 He shouted for his servant and demanded, “Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!” 18 So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long, beautiful robe, as was the custom in those days for the king’s virgin daughters. 19 But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. 20 Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house.


C.    The CONTENTMENT stage – I am going to MAKE it.


III.   How to have good grief

A.    Accept the PAST will always be in the PAST.

Philippians 3:13 NLT – No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,


B.      Accept the present has STABILITY and SIGNIFICANCE.

Psalm 118:24 KJV – This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.


C.    Accept the future has NEW and DIFFERENT possibilities.

Isaiah 43:18-19 NLT – 18 “But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. 19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Call on the God of COMFORT.

2 Corinthians 1:3 NLT – All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.


Open your heart to God’s BLESSINGS

Maintain a clear CONSCIOUS knowing God FORGIVES confessed sins

Psalm 32:5 – Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

1 John 1:9 – But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.


Focus on what you have LEFT

Job 1:13-18 – 13 One day when Job’s sons and daughters were feasting at the oldest brother’s house, 14 a messenger arrived at Job’s home with this news: “Your oxen were plowing, with the donkeys feeding beside them, 15 when the Sabeans raided us. They stole all the animals and killed all the farmhands. I am the only one who escaped to tell you.” 16 While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived with this news: “The fire of God has fallen from heaven and burned up your sheep and all the shepherds. I am the only one who escaped to tell you.” 17 While he was still speaking, a third messenger arrived with this news: “Three bands of Chaldean raiders have stolen your camels and killed your  servants. I am the only one who escaped to tell you.” 18 While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived with this news: “Your sons and daughters were feasting in their oldest brother’s home.


Obtain SUPPORT from other Christians

2 Corinthians 1:4 – He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.


Refuse to remain IDLE. Grief thrives in the soil of IDLENESS

2 Samuel 12:20 – Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate.


Trust God to help you REBUILD your life.

Nehemiah 6:15 – So on October 2 the wall was finished—just fifty-two days after we had begun.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.